Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
