It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well I just put wine in my tea
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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