My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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