just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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