I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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