My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
