my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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