im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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