3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
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He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
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Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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