i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
