hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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