we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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