my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
