I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
