You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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