I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
