dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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