i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
