i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
