I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
