You really coming over, don't trick.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
