he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
