If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
