David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
