Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
