No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
His hands were made for my vagina.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize