Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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