Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
