ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
