Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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