Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
