Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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