Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
