I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
