i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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