Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
pop tarts are not kleenex
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
