Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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