girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
