How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
