I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
