My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
