from now on my penis is your penis
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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