There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
