she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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