you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Watching her eat just hurts me
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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