At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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