He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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