just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
