Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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