"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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