You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
