I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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