Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
