if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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