I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
