Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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