i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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