Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
