Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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