Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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